Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Last night I did some trivia, the star studded team of Rob, Dan, Vasuda and myself, did not win. Second place. If you ain't first, you're last Ricky Bobby.

Saw three white girls walking around Baumgye last night. One was a really hot blond. This is about as rare a look in this country as my tall ass is. I noticed. She said hi. If I see her again, I am proposing... not like, a forever thing, but a, hey, while we live here thing.

I have been jamming Bright Eyes a lot lately. This is awesome, yet also sad. I love poetry in music- but it reminds me of that ass clown that WAS my best friend. Memories.

To be honest, I made better memories grinding on hoes with Stillman and Ugo. I miss those dudes for real.

I also miss "five o-clock." If Dhut ever reads this, she will LOL at that.

I typed a little bit last night. Not a lot, maybe 500 words. The book itself is hovering around 31,000 now, which would make it a decent sized novella. I am aiming for 50,000 to 65,000 which would make it around the size of the great gatsby at smallest, and at largest the size of Lolita.

I think the problem with my pace on this book, is that my imagination is churning again, and I am sort of thinking of another one already. I try to distract my mind by reading to improve my craft, but I end up instead jotting down my new idea in a notebook. Hopefully I can finish Lilly in time before this idea just explodes with full force out of my head... I never thought I'd say this, but I want the editing phase to begin soon lol.

On the real though, I want to marry an English Major. I can no longer tolerate people whose speech is flawed beyond belief. I need to marry a grammar nazi, someone who even catches my mistakes. This would annoy me into lust and we'd have some sexy and well spoken babies...

I got water inside my rolex. I am sad.

I wanted to buy a copy of Only Revolutions. They didn't have anymore at What the Book? The best name for a bookstore ever.

I have three hours of work separating me from a three day weekend. Bliss? Perhaps. Recipe for boredom? Definitely.

I drink way too much pop here in this country. For you non-Michigan peeps who roll in here, I am talking about Soda. I have also reaffirmed my belief that Coke is vastly superior to Pepsi.

I met a dude from Wales last night. He was wandering around Korea, it was his first night here. He had literally came from the airport to the bar. Cool ass dude, I showed him some places. I felt sort of Nick Carraway like, " I was no longer a stranger, but now a resident, a guide."

Every time I wake up, I instantly wonder what crazy shit happened back home. If anything. I always wonder, did one of my best friends just do something amazing while I am asleep? In a way, it's a paradox- I am living a grand life here, but somewhere in the world I am missing whole days at a time. I kind of feel like a dead person, in a heaven connected to the past by the internet. I am like, a ghost- people miss me, talk about me like I am long gone... it's weird but I don't know how else to feel...

I bid adieu for now my amoureux...

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Fake Plastic Trees.

I like that song- I now kind of feel like I might actually understand it's meaning.

I haven't written in a few days but a lot has been happening. I will save the curious reader the boredom of sorting through it all, and just highlight some of the more hilarious or fun occurences. I will also inject my musings in at random times as well...

I pretty much broke my ankle and my ass bone. This is not because of any kind of accident. It is the result of a drunken night wandering through the park, where I discovered a basketball hoop that I could actually climb to the top of. After doing this, I threw myself from the top of the backboard and crunched down HARD... It feels a little better, but damn it sucked.

Korean food is so-so in my opinion. Some of it is awesome, such as Bulgulgi and rice soup shit, but some of it, is really gross...

My classes are enjoyable for the most part. I am lucky and I don't have any misbehaving kids. Apparently they are afraid of me. RARRR.

I went into a sauna room thing. At first, I was weird about being naked in front of a whole bunch of stranger dudes I didn't know. After thirteen seconds, I was walking proud and tall.

The beer here, as previously mentioned, is absolutely foul.

I still don't have my own internet... I am getting aggrivated with this.

I wish I could watch the wolverines games. Once I have internet, I may try this out.

Torrenting has been super slow as of late, but I am managing.

I might go play trivia tonight... maybe. Part of me wants to sleep or write or something... we'll see.

Bon Voyage.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Miranda, that Ghost just isn't holy anymore.

Once again I was unable to go to the damn Converse store. I can see it in my mind like a glow of pain and memory. JUST COME TO ME!

It's actually good that I don't go, now that I think about it. I finally recieved my apartment contract today and my bills are due on the 8th of every month. Chungdahm only pays us on the tenth of every month. Should be interesting.

If ever my powers of spendature were to be tested, it will be through this monumental calamity of timing. O Chuck Taylors- you are so very far away.

But on the other hand, I learned today that my parents are officially moving their asses to DC. Great. So in my absence I will lose the majority of my friends to distance and time. I guess I could always come crash at Randy's house but then again, his place smells like dog piss and the inside of an old pair of New Balances. I could crash at Nelson's, but that too could be an impossibility because he has like a bajillion people living under his roof... Hmm...

Today I woke up earlier than usual. This is funny because on Fridays I don't have to work until seven o' clock at night. Even with this large gap in time between work arrival and awakening, I still could not manage to go to either E-mart (their version of wal-mart) or the Chuck Taylor store.

Ironic part of this? Tonight I think everyone is going to the bar called Slang. Slang just happens to be located in the same complex as the glistening majesty of the Converse store. GOD DAMNIT!

On another wavelength of thought, I think I look pretty good today, except for the fact that I haven't shaved my beard (or the facsimile of a beard I am capable of growing) in a week. It kind of looks okay, but it kind of looks like shit. I guess it depends on my mood. I have plenty of time to shave it off in the morning, but no desire to actually do so.

I am also wearing skinny jeans today- because nothing says bad ass like jeans that are so skinny you can see my thoughts.

I have decided that I no longer care that it is considered "douchey" to wear sunglasses indoors or at night. These sunglasses are fucking sweet, and I am going to rock them at my leisure whenever I get the sudden urge to do so.

I am kind of sad that my parents are moving to DC. But I am also stoked because they let me know via facebook. While it's extremely insensitive of them to do this, it also showcases their increasing savvy with the social networking medium. I am proud of them.

But damnit, there are so many people I have yet to sleep with in the dirty glove- I mean, hangout with. I would love to just spend like, a week or two there and be taken on a pilgrammage through all of my favorite bars and clubs one last time. Ahhh that would be magnificent.

I bid adieu my amoureux.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Okay, so the street I live on here has got to be the noisy street to end all noisy streets. Every sound imaginable, from the echo of an exhaust pipe to the crash of car and moped can be heard daily out my window.

YOu get used to it though- the sight of a delivery boy picking himself off of the ground after getting MACKED by one of the thousands of reckless cab drivers here.

So I guess my parents are officially on their way to DC- permanently. It was good knowing you folks back in Michigan, it doesn't look like I live there anymore either.

I still cannot figure out how to write my address. The sooner I accomplish this feat, the sooner Dad can send me that sweetness that is an inflatable Beer Pong table and the even greater sweetness of my Foreman Grill. Whoot.

I officially hate Korean Beer. It takes far too much of it to get drunk, which means, because your stomach is filled with cheap and possibly carbonated brew you WILL have one of those "I didn't get drunk last night but I still have a hangover" hangovers.

They're like, the worst kind. I teeter on this cliff of will I or wont I yack into the toilet. Top that off with the smelly Korean carry out that some dude just lugged into the break room and you can see why my trusty Powerade chicken noodle soup hangover rememdy is defenseless here.

Today I really don't feel like being in Korea. Today I'd like to go home and continue my quest to do absolutely nothing in the pursuit of a job. Yes, even though Michigan is a black hole of joblessness where dreams go to die, I miss it so very much.

Yesterday, I had a theological debate with Nikki via facebook chat. The irony there not withstanding, it was probably the highlight of my day.

I still have not managed to make it to the Chuck Taylor store. I must make it there before my money runs out- because that's where I want my money to run out.

I didn't type as much yesterday in the novel as I wanted to. I have been maintaining a steady four to 12 hour a night pace on it, and yesterday I just did some editing and typing for like, 20 minutes.

At this pace, I will never get it done.

The only thing I legit like about being here are the students. They are adorable sometimes, especially the goofy kids- I love them so dearly.

Other than that, this is a place filled with people passed out on sidewalks ( pictures forthcoming) and or excessive smoke filled bars. Yeah, that just came out of my mouth. I never thought I'd say it, but the Michigan smoking ban was a good idea. I get lightheaded in these places, that's how much people smoke here. Their lungs have to look like shriveled up lettuce thrown into a vat of ink.

"But this world is full of white teeth- and black lungs."

Muwahaha. In the interest of conformity, I have taken to wearing cardigans, ALL day eerday. Yes, it is like, one bajillion degrees and humid here in Korea, but it's cool. I got stripes in various patterns on, and I know how to use them.

Also, the red dress shoes are my life saver. I love them like women love Justin Beiber- too much. Seriously, they click when I walk, and they are red. What the hell isn't sweet about that?

But they do have something cooler here in Korea -GASP! John, one of the guys I work with had a pair- these loafers that look like Gucci's except they're even more expensive. I saw another dude on the street with PURPLE ONES. I am only guessing, but I might, and this is a big maybe, BE ABLE TO GET RED ONES! Saving up the 200 thousand wan as we speak.

Korea is most likely an Asian scene kids dream. They don't wear anything but skinny jeans, chuck taylors, or air force ones here. Strangely though, they will often combine these looks with the flair of a holister shirt. Yeah, I said it. The AE, A&F, machine is hard at work here... And just when I had thought I'd seen my last popped collar...

I kind of want to go home and see Josh Barnes and Amanda Daniels get married. I know it's coming up soon, which means I sadly wont be able to attend. I also will be forced to miss Rachel and Jerry's wedding too. I will be like, the phantom family member- like I am when I am there too.

I really wish, and this will sound weird, that I was still in college. I liked College. College was fun. College was, as I tell my students, this big place where you go to learn about stuff you already learned about- just differently, and for a lot more money. I did tell them though that it had its benefits, such as but not limited to: Skanks- we all must enjoy a skank from time to time. They are an important, and vital element to the survival of the male species. 2.)Greek Life- Greek life is like, something that when involved with, even partially as I was, you can gain the enjoyment of friends, amouruex, and of course item number 1. This makes me miss Stillman and the boys in green even more... Ahh... 3.)Over priced cafeteria food- not because it tastes good (it doesn't) but it makes excellent aerial projectiles. 4.)Awkwardly shy girls who are just being exposed to a whole new world- think about the benefits of meeting a girl naive enough to believe you are the king of france.

I am just playing ladies I love you- especially those of you with daddy issues- I really, really love you.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


Trying to get a mayo free sandwich in Korea is like trying to pull teeth out of an awake Sabertooth lion- you're going to get in trouble.

Either way, I am having days here that are like, half good half bad. I am saving a TON of money of here no doubt because I really don't go out much. I kind of want to tonight- I went out last Wednesday, but I don't know what the haps is this week.

I want to buy a new pair of Chuck Taylor's. I left mine at home, but they were half eaten by the dog anyway. They have an awesome Chucky T store here, and they had a few BAD ASS pairs of Chucks in there. Hopefully I can work up the motivation to stroll my happy ass down there sometime today. I really want some shoes.

As those of you who know me will attest, I make up for any dip in mood with insane purchases of idiotic things- such as, -but not limitied to- the aforementioned shoe binges and sunglass fetishes, to more intelligent purchases such as books or film that stimulate my mind.

Speaking of film- everyone go see Inception if you haven't yet. They are still playing it here in Korea, and I will be watching it for time number 5 on Saturday. It really is the greatest piece of cinema since Jackass 2.

Speaking of Jackass, they probably won't be showing Jackass 3D here in Korea. This breaks my heart. One of my more "enterprising" friends will have to find a great bootleg of this potential masterpiece and send it to me. I need to watch that movie when it comes out. If I don't, I will die of some strange and as of yet undiscovered illness borne of food and air allergies.

I am still addicted to Facebook- even though I don't have internet, I have been getting to work extra early so that I may dive into the bulge of notifications that I have. The little red things make me happy that people still like me- and or remember who I am now that I am gone.

I also miss my Blackberry. I never realized until I got here that it really is an extension of my soul, and of my being.

I miss Bowling most of all. I have no idea how I am going to get my Bowling stuff over here- shipping and handling on such items probably costs more than purchasing the country of Russia- which, in its decay, probably doesn't cost that much.

I officially remain in love with Sonic Youth. Daydream Nation is perhaps the most pure form of musical art- ever, with the exception of Eric Prydz "Call on Me."

I am drinking way too much coke a cola over here. Cola has simply replaced beer, water, and imagination as my drink of choice here. Manly because the beer is only so-so and must be consumed in abusive amounts to amount (punny) to anything.

I still haven't really unpacked my stuff. This is for two reasons. 1.) I am lazy. 2.) I have this terror that I will have to repack it next year, and that this will be a chore not much different than cutting the grass with a pair of plastic lefty scissors.

I bid adieu for now. Bon Voyage!

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Novel

It's almost done! I have finished Part 1 of three- the hard part. Part 2 is now under construction ( and alas, I do mean construction) and part three has been done (first draft anyway) for about two years.

I've changed some or all of it of course- seeing as great books are not written, they are edited- and the title, as of now, is "Lilly."

Yes, those of you who are closest to me will know exactly "who" it is about- but I hope against hope that some of you will be able to find the real message hidden in the book, if, and when, it ever finds the light of day.

But, let us discuss the weekend I had!

I finally got an Umbrella, a much needed necessity here in Anyang.

On Friday, I went to a club place called "Slangs." It was a pretty good time. I watched a creeper Indian dude try to lay his game (i.e. creepily steal the passed out drunk girl from her table full of friends) and I noticed that the majority of white people in the world really are in love with Asian girls. It's amazing I know!

On Saturday, I was taken to Itaewon, the white folk military hangout. I was taken up the humerously named "Hooker Hill" where, you guessed, drunk, horny, lonely army dudes pick up potentially underage Asian Hookers. It's all like that scene from Full Metal Jacket where she says Me-so- you get it. The only difference between the hookers here, and the miles of them in Michigan, is that these ones post up on the corner in Lawn Chairs.

Basically, Itaewon is the Detroit of Korea. Even so, the white people there make me sick and I probably will not go back.

Hongdae, on the other hand- is my jams.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

These times they are a changing

I had one of those days yesterday that was extraordinarily lonely- much more so than usual. I got a lot of writing and reading done, but on the whole, I felt entirely sad and melencholy.

I am beginning to feel more and more like I don't belong here. I want to belong- I really do. I just can't stop thinking about home, that place I longed so hard to leave, yet long even harder to return too.

It's different than when I was in Ottawa, the Paris of the North- It's different because it's longer, more foriegn, different.

I'd give anything to go back home right now.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

The mysteries of the Korean Subway.

Okay folks! Week one has drawn to an end, and tomorrow I begin the daunting task of instructing young Korean minds in the ways of the English Language.

I met my Head Instructor yesterday. She is basically the equivalent of "The Boss." Her name is Tracy and she is a very nice lady who was very helpful. However, she did make fun of me for my lack of skill in navigating the subway system- a system most people say is intuitive and simple- a system that I, however, find labyrinthian.

Now, I understand some of this that is forthcoming may sound like gibberish, but this is my class list!

On Monday and Wednesday I teach Memory English- Terra. This is medium level of English proficiency students who have a solid grasp on sentence structure and a moderate vocabulary.

Also On Monday, I will teach Listening- Par. Par and up is a rather advanced form of English language instruction. At the highest levels, Eagle, Albatross, and Albatross plus, student's proficiency in English equals, or in some cases surpass, that of similarly aged American Students.

I also teach Listening- Birdie, which is the same as before with a slight improvement in grammatical ability.

I teach on tuesdays and thursday some of Memory English- Giga. This course is the same as terra, except the ability of the students isn't as high..

My week is rounded out with three total sections of Listening Par, one of birdie, and these Memory English courses. I work Monday through friday for 6 hours on every day except wednesday and friday, giving me a total of 24 hours per week.

Let the fun begin!

I finally pulled my laundry out of the washing machine today and installed it on my handy drying rack. Yes, drying rack. For as advanced as Korea is technologically, they do not use dryers here. Instead, ol' fashioned hang drying is the norm.

Last night, Kyle and I taught his buddies how to play "Baseball." No, not the American sport of hitting balls with a stick, but the American sport of combining beer pong and flip cup together to create dead livers in young 20 somethings.

I was supposed to get Lunch with Nikki today, but I instead woke up late and decided I would spend all day prepping for my classes. This, coupled with my strange hangover, precludes me from doing anything tonight.

I had an hour long convo via skype with Nelson and Ashley today, mainly talking about my beloved Michigan Wolverines and their dominating victory. Since it may be impossible for me to actually watch my boys in blue play this season, Nelson and I have agreed to talk after every game. This means that at 7am Sunday morning ( korean time) I will skype him and he will share with me the happenings of the week, and of course the results of the game. Next week is Notre Dame- a team that I love to watch lose.

Family size pizza in Korea is equal to a normal pizza in America. Either I was ripped off, or America is more morbidly obese than I initially thought.

Coke Zero is nasty. Lemon Lime gatorade, which I have always had an affinity for, tastes nothing like Lemon Lime gatorade here. Powerade in the blue form is good I am told.

I picked out my apartment and it's very nice. However, I may not be able to get my belongings into it until Wednesday, and I am pretty sure that I will have absolutely NO furniture in it. It does have something like two room(ish) things, this will make it cozy and very much mine. I will, in all honesty, miss my hotel. Hotel's in Korea are much better than they are back in the states. Coatel, where I am staying, is listed as a 3 star hotel. In America, this would be just beneath the quality of Paris Hilton's private room at a Hilton... No joke.

People in Seoul have amazing style for the most part. Some very cool fashion trends are followed here, and some are broken in memorable ways that actually create a unique and interesting look. Some of their trends, such as the shiny, metallic bright suits, are not good.

People here in Gangnam, where my hotel is, are incredibly rich. I have counted no less than four Bentleys, and each one of them looks like the man inside it sold his soul to the devil for vast corporate greed.

Other than that, this place is basically your normal everyday city- except that it's about 1.5 times as big as New York and no one here understands a word I am saying.


Friday, September 3, 2010

"It's a Beautiful Day."

Today has been the best day here so far! For all of my stressing, worrying, confusion, and hard work- I passed training!

I feel as if a monumental load has been removed from my very slim and frail shoulders. My confidence is restored, my personality is invigorated, in short- I am ready to rock.

Though I have been in Korea for a week, my adventure had this feeling of being on hold. Now that the worry of training has passed, I am officially a teacher for Chungdahm Institute and can begin to enjoy the wonders of this far away land.

And what an amazing land it is! All the people, places, cheap booze, and even cheaper cigarettes can now be really loved by yours truly. On top of all those things, I get to finally find out if teaching is really the dream job I picture it to be.

So I will try my best to maintain my updates in a timely manner. Now that I am more free, I will be running wild with my camera, and pictures, which are obviously my whore quality, will be flowing soon enough.

Love everyone!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Starless and Bible Black.

I like looking out my window. Something about the sky, starless and bible black, shrouded in the industrial sheath of smog comforts me. Here, where the stars cannot fight their way through, I contemplate the world and all of its workings. Revolution and revolution, minor, yet major. Could it be that such a simple little thing as living is the most magnificently grand scheme of them all?

But I digress. I saw a face looking back at me in the mirror today that I felt proud of- not for aesthetic vanity, but of a new found sense of self improvement. For all of my machismo, bravado, and other manly adjectives, I have never found who I am.

And I still haven't. I am a wandering soul, a question begging to be asked- teetering on the lips of the dumb, searching for passage through the ears of the deaf. But though I am still vacant-still wondering- I look now into my life with something resembling that last, bitter, terrible, most blissfully ignorant of human emotions...